Mister Cravatte


He is smart. He is a hard worker. He looks good. He is always elegantly clad. He treasures big fashion names. He loves neckties. It is as if he came on earth with ties bound all around his neck. To wear all his ties, you would need several necks. He’s got a well-paid job and large properties (10 km long times 10 km large : a huge square surface of land, so huge that I cannot embrace it even though two horses would stretch out my arms!). He is a Chief. He smokes cigars and drinks high quality whiskys. He buys biological food at delicacy stores. He never drinks cheap wines in restaurants for you and me. He is welcome to private expensive clubs which close their doors in front of your nose or mine.

Stoutly built, medium tall, heavy body (90 kg) he is in great demand, being invited everywhere. He has to fight against millions of ladies in love with him partly because of his sexy bedroom voice, too. He goes in ambush to protect his privacy. He plays hide and seek with all his fans.


How to Tie a Tie


Our paths came across many years ago. He was biking. Me too. We were on opposite sides of the street, so we could look at each other straight in the eyes. He surprised me since it was my very first time to see a Black on a bike in my hometown.

It’s only two years ago that I discovered that Mister Cravatte is not like you and me. He is rich. But he is one of the worst miserable miser ever. He is a passionate taker. I noticed that whenever we met in the past, he was always telling me about the many little presents he got from his customers (bottles of wine, champagne, whisky, chocolate boxes, etc.). Can you imagine humble people making presents to a rich guy? Another absurdity of the world we live in. It pleased him to receive everyday at least one present. His collegues : “How come you are getting so many gifts from customers whereas we have been working on the job for more years than you do and we are getting nothing at all? No tips, no wines, nothing?”

Then I realized that in nearly two whole lifetimes of human relationship, he never gifted me a Birthday or a Valentine’s Day present or Anyday present to tell me how much he cares for me. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. If he invites me for a drink, we can stay 3 hours long sipping a single coke in the fastfood restaurant. One month ago, I told him that I was fed up to meet him in a fastfood. Actually he is the only guy I meet in such places so many times. Fortunately we meet only once in a while. But in so many years, it adds up to many ‘once’s. A wealthy guy meeting me preferably in fastfood restaurants. Unbelievable. I had to ask him why. ‘It is convenient’. In the area there are millions of restaurants and cafes, etc. But fast food restaurants are the cheapest.

I cannot stand misers. I am a foolish generous person. I love making presents. Giving is such a wonderful pastime. I am a passionate giver. I wish I had lots of millions of EUR (stronger than US dollar these days) to be able to give away everyday. Then I took a closer look at his hands. They look like big unbreakable claws. He needs them to grasp all what is good for him and never let loose.

Chocolates Chocolates

I cooked a couple of times for him. He never showed up carrying a bottle or a bunch of something. Or some chocolates. I love chocolates and French pâtisserie. His large hands were always empty. Last time, I exploded for good. He was 10 min late. Opening the door I asked him gently : “No flowers? No bottle of champagne today? Only empty hands?” “I thought you would curse me if I show up too late” That was his foul excuse. (There is a flower shop at a one minute’s walk from my door!) We had food. He did like it. I am a good cook. He told me then he had to rush to another appointment. He stood up. I noticed that he didn’t even put his seat back in its proper place.

I told him before he left that all his doings were too much for me. I don’t deserve such a detestable guy. I don’t care about elegant ties. I don’t wrap any around my neck. I treasure only good manners. Only good manners make a real elegant gentleman. Not neckties and suits! I am wondering how he is treating his other people. But that’s my experience with him.

Generally whenever I am invited somewhere I always bring along a little present and after the meal I do the dishes. No matter if it was a dinner for two, for ten or fifty people. I do the dishes. That’s my way of life.

Mister Cravatte, the Ladykiller, is a big miser. Could you be friend with a big miser? Are you a miser, too? I hope not. Otherwise, you would disappoint me very much. I love and respect generous people. You can be poor and generous. You can be rich and tight. Like this one guy.

How to Tie a Tie – Full Windsor Knot
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How to Tie a Cravat
How to Tie a Bow Tie 1
How to Tie a Bow Tie 2


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